“The mind is irresistibly attracted to a place without meaning. That which looks onto nothing has every reason never to be forgotten. That which doesn’t say anything has every reason to never be forgotten. That which is arbitrary is simultaneously endowed with a total necessity. The predestination of the empty sign, the precession of the void, the vertigo of an obligation devoid of sense, a passion for necessity.”

Jean Baudrillard

When I was in university, my Calculus professor used to offer me a ride home,  since I was the only one living downtown that year and not near the campus.

He was very respectful but used to say some disturbing things to me while talking sometimes. Like once, in a Summer day he said: “Your jeans are the ones resisting most”, he said, referring to all other girls coming to the class in shorts. After a while I started wearing shorts and skirts to class, I was just used to the jeans and his comment just helped to remind me it would be better to wear something more comfortable in hot days. My class mates used to make a lot of jokes about him taking me home after class but I stayed cool about it, it didn’t bother me.

But this is not about that professor, it’s just to say that once he gave me a book, Seduction, of Jean Baudrillard, in fact, it was a book with a review of what Baudrillard wrote. At that time, at 20, I didn’t understand very well as I do today. I totally understand it and admire Baudrillard so much now, I just didn’t have the experience and ability to do that at that time.

Whenever something or someone seduces me I remind that.

One thing he says is that one can live alone, like me, not being in a relationship. What one can’t stand is being kept away from the seduction game. That’s absolutely true for me. Today I understand that seduction happens and is not where it is produced. And it’s a game kept by a secret, a mystery. Something that circulates without being said. If the secret is revealed, the game is over.

I am not in a relationship. But I am not away from the seduction game also. And that is something that feels good too.


No, it’s not about the new Britney Spears video 🙂 .

According to

To give female characteristics to; feminize.

I’m not plenty of physical attributes. I’m not repulsive though, which is a good point already 🙂 .

Anyhow, what matters more to me are the personality characteristics. Everybody has attractive points. Some know better how to let it show more, at least they are aware of what is their best to show. Others, like me, have some difficulty handling it favorably. Better saying, trying to handle it, loose spontaneity and seduction potential.  

I can only consider feedback I received from others. I’m not able to judge it myself. Several times people told me they felt comfortable with me to share personal stuff.

Then, if my attractives come from personality, what I can do best to handle it favorably is keeping spontaneity when I feel myself attracted to someone too….that’s where problems begin. I need to learn how to manage not to loose it when I need it most. I want to feel and get aware of it at the moment I start loosing it. When I’m uncomfortable I make others around me to feel the same.

The only way to take control over your life is knowing yourself better, strong and weak points.

I can’t get back what is lost. But my life has not ended yet.

“To produce is to force what belongs to another order (that of secrecy and seduction) to materialize. Seduction is that which is everywhere and always opposed to production; seduction withdraws something from the visible order and so runs counter to production”  – Jean Baudrillard