I have a few friends who know me pretty well and with whom I can share very personal stuff.
Though, there are a few matters that reached their highest point of sharing. It means it’s no helpful at all getting someone else’s opinion anymore or even some relief in sharing them.
No one can live my life for me or be responsible for my actions.
Even though these things still matter and affect me a lot, I decided not to share anything new that happens related to them anymore.
It’s funny that I woke up with this decision in mind and something happened twice today: the mute phone calls. It’s happened very often in the last months. I know, it could be anybody, a child playing tricks on me, many different people playing tricks on me, I don’t know since I still don’t have a number identifier 😦 . I can get a number identifier very easily but the question is : why does it keep me wondering? Who I’d like to be the one calling? Why do I think it could be this person and why would it please me? I know, and that’s all I can get to know.
I’ve gotta find the answers myself. If something happens and affects me, what I have to ask is not why someone did this or that, but why and how it affects me if it does. I don’t have to look for meanings hidden in an action but why do I think there are hidden meanings behind some action and why do I wanna know. “What can I do about it?” instead of “why did it happen?”.
There are things I’d like to know and I cannot ask. There are things I’d like them to happen in a certain way and I can’t do anything right now. At least I wanna know my own answers.
Someone else might ask…