The Essence Of Life

We all have material needs. I’m no different from anybody else.
Though, whatever I get in life, money or possessions, they only matter for what they can bring to the essence of my life.
One can buy the house of dreams, but one day it will belong to someone else and eventually no longer exist.

What matters, the essence of life, are the moments and memories that cannot be transferred to anyone else, that become part of who you are forever.
These moments are for us what seasonings and salt are for food. You can’t see them but they are what makes living feel good.

I’ve just bought an apartment in installments. I gave some money initially and now it’s about 50% of the market price left to pay.
It was a good deal because it was 20% below the market price. It’s also easy to sell it.
It’s well located and in good conditions.
Though, that’s not where I wanna be.

I definitely don’t want to live in this city anymore.
Life is no longer good for me here. Friends have dispersed, got married or moved to another city and some to other countries. So no social events are taking place any longer.
I’m not complaining, people have their lives to carry on. And I’m responsible for carrying on with my own life.
And it’s not always been like that. I’ve had a good time for at least five of the seven years that have passed since I moved to this area.
I want to go back to my home town. I want to be close to people that want me closer to them. My parents, my sisters, my cats and even my old friends.
I want to meet them in real often and not only talk on the phone everyday and visit occasionally. Nobody is eternal but those are the people I can count with.

Also my home town is easier to live. It’s half the size of this I live now and offers every comfort of modern life.
No place is a good place to live when you don’t have any close person leaving in the nearby area.
Unless if it’s a temporary time spent in a foreign country, which brings many interesting things to discover, which is not the case.
I don’t have anything interesting still to find out here.

I know myself very well at this point. I’m someone who needs to balance the time alone at home, extremely necessary and wanted for me, with social interaction on a regular basis, spending quality time among friends and talking to interesting people.

Since I know what I want I’m focusing on it.
I’m patient and I’ve got in touch with some people I know around and I’m already feeling better after an existential crisis.
Talking about those issues, even when on the phone or chat with friends far away helps a lot.

I have Faith. I’m gonna make it!

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