This is the first time in my whole life that I’m experiencing living alone and at the same time not having any special feelings for any guy.
So, it’s the first time I can really appreciate the wonders, the freedom and the peace of mind and heart of being single and living alone.
I don’t really want to talk about it with my friends, specially my female friends, because they’d never understand me. In fact it’s not that I don’t want, I really don’t need to talk about it with them. They don’t come here, so …whatever.
But I wanted to write this today, just to be on the records. And this is my blog, I can write what I want.
I believe in love but right now I’m not searching for any in my life. I mean, romantic love. My heart is full of love for life right now. I don’t think I’ll ever want it again in my life like I did before. And it’s not bad at all. I really don’t think romantic love is the greatest happiness possible in life.
I believe nothing and nobody can bring us happiness if it’s not already there inside of us.
If this is weird or any psychological problem, I don’t want to heal. It feels plenty good enough for me.
Maybe I don’t know how to love. Because when I do, I get stupid and it takes a great piece of my thoughts and feelings. I don’t want that anymore. Not in this incarnation.
I don’t regret anything. I don’t care about the past. That’s why it’s called past.
I suddenly got aware that I’m not made to share life with anybody. Not this time. I know that for sure. And I’m not a foolish young woman saying that. I know myself very well at this point. And I feel happy for my peace of mind. It’s like my mind has moved to a bigger place, with plenty of space for myself and everything else.
It’s real freedom. Freedom can only be complete when it includes mind.