“The mind is irresistibly attracted to a place without meaning. That which looks onto nothing has every reason never to be forgotten. That which doesn’t say anything has every reason to never be forgotten. That which is arbitrary is simultaneously endowed with a total necessity. The predestination of the empty sign, the precession of the void, the vertigo of an obligation devoid of sense, a passion for necessity.”
When I was in university, my Calculus professor used to offer me a ride home, since I was the only one living downtown that year and not near the campus.
He was very respectful but used to say some disturbing things to me while talking sometimes. Like once, in a Summer day he said: “Your jeans are the ones resisting most”, he said, referring to all other girls coming to the class in shorts. After a while I started wearing shorts and skirts to class, I was just used to the jeans and his comment just helped to remind me it would be better to wear something more comfortable in hot days. My class mates used to make a lot of jokes about him taking me home after class but I stayed cool about it, it didn’t bother me.
But this is not about that professor, it’s just to say that once he gave me a book, Seduction, of Jean Baudrillard, in fact, it was a book with a review of what Baudrillard wrote. At that time, at 20, I didn’t understand very well as I do today. I totally understand it and admire Baudrillard so much now, I just didn’t have the experience and ability to do that at that time.
Whenever something or someone seduces me I remind that.
One thing he says is that one can live alone, like me, not being in a relationship. What one can’t stand is being kept away from the seduction game. That’s absolutely true for me. Today I understand that seduction happens and is not where it is produced. And it’s a game kept by a secret, a mystery. Something that circulates without being said. If the secret is revealed, the game is over.
I am not in a relationship. But I am not away from the seduction game also. And that is something that feels good too.