Archive for March, 2009


5:33 am.

I’ll fall asleep again but my mind has awaken.

I’ve been here before. Just now I know better.

Let come the Sun to light everything.

My mind has awaken.


The Power Of Eye Contact

After all this time…I admit…my heart still goes faster when my eyes meet his.

Damn your eyes!

I can do what I want
I’m in complete control
That’s what I tell myself
I got a mind of my own
I’ll be alright alone
Don’t need anybody else

I gave myself a good talkin’ to
No more bein’ a fool for you
And when I see you all I remember
Is how you make me wanna surrender


Damn your eyes
For takin’ my breath away
Makin’ me wanna stay
Damn your eyes
For getting my hopes up high
Makin’ me fall in love again
Damn your eyes

Life In Mars

I know why the book of John Gray, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, released in 1992 was a huge success.
Years ago I read it borrowed from a friend.

That’s it. We need each other, it can be fun, it can be nice. That’s all. We can’t transform men’s behavior into ours.
No frustration.

Few weeks ago, a friend of mine called me on a Sunday afternoon and asked if he could come to my place because he needed to “talk to someone like me”. I got surprised but I said okay of course, he is a nice friend.

I knew in advance what his problem was. He was engaged and his fiancée found out he was cheating on her and they broke up.
He cried like a 5-year-old boy for a while and then told me how he felt and how he loves her and kept talking about everything that happened, what he did and why, etc, etc.

As I was listening to him, that was what could help him better, I kept thinking of how most of we women, here in Venus, allow heart and emotions command our thoughts and actions. And how the guys there in Mars fight bravely not to let it happen, at least not to let it last long when it happens, they fight to recover control over emotions. They really live in another planet. Most of them at least, there are exceptions of course, which is not necessarily positive.

Last Friday, the same devastated friend invited me to join him and other friends to go out. He’s getting over. We all had a nice time. He is incredibly better now. And I believe he was really devastated the other day. I also believe he loves her. But she can’t forgive him and make it up again. So he’s just recovering.

I see younger girls have a different attitude already and maybe there’s hope in the future things can get a little more balanced between men and women than they are now, at least emotionally speaking. Still those girls are exceptions.

It took a long way for women to conquer their space in society and look where we are now. We have the option of being independent.
That independence doesn’t go well with a Middle Age heart. No, no, no, no. It can’t be the end of the world when we get rejected or someone cheat on us. Wipe tears off and move on.

Now that we conquered all that space in practical matters I think many of us, me included, have a long way to become emotionally independent also.

We complain that men let their sexual impulses control them and they complain that we are too emotional and need commitment.

There’s gotta be a midway.


My Poor Defenseless Unprotected Heart

Worrisome Heart

I need a hand with my worrisome heart
I need a hand with my worrisome heart
I would be lucky to find me a man
Who could love me the way that I am
With this here worrisome heart
I need a break from my troubling ways
I need a break from my troubling ways
I would be lucky to find me a man
Who could love me the way that I am
With all my troubling ways
I need a man who got no baggage to claim
I need a man who got no baggage to claim
I would be lucky to find me a man
Who could love me the way that I am
A worrisome troubling baggage free modern day dame,
Said a worrisome troubling baggage free modern day dame
Ain`t no body the same

More of Melody here

[ if the way I feel could turn into a song….it would be this one]


How can it be?

I’m not a fan of horoscope but somehow one of my e-mails is getting these daily forecasts and I developed the bad habit of reading them before deleting.

It’s amazing how it fits perfectly sometimes:

Well, well, well, you never can tell…

Looking For Kitty (2004)

This 90 minute comedy-drama movie has a lot of content.  Directed by Edward Burns, where he plays a private investigator, helping a baseball coach to find his wife who ran away with a musician, this movie is about how sometimes close people actions catch us by surprise…and how difficult [and impossible?] it is to know somebody.

The baseball coach goes to New York to find his wife who abandoned him without any explanation, hoping to make it up with her and tell her how he still loves her….and mainly…to understand what she did.

During the investigation he and the detective get to know each other better and he finds out there’s no possible explanation that can fill what he needs. And understands that her actions mean she doesn’t care at all, which was what he wanted most. He understands her actions mean it’s not possible anymore and finds out what he wants for his life and that it can’t be found on any explanation or somebody else.

Sometimes in life other people actions catch us by surprise and we get very disappointed. The sooner we can forget about the facts and circumstances, the hows and whys,  to see and accept what it means, the better. The answers are always in ourselves and not in anybody else’s reasons and explanations. And a spontaneously given explanation means  a lot more than a demanded one.

What I Need

Feelings of the Night 7387999

The two of us….it was really quite close…

Mind can be distracted and forget things for a while or ever.

Heart cannot.

« Previous entries