I believe that most of my close friends would not consider me a friend if I were not a very discreet person.

I never ask questions motivated only by curiosity, even when I’m curious. I never make comments on something I notice to be going on unless it can help, and when I do it’s in a very reserved way.

Unfortunately at work and in social occasions I sometimes have to deal with people who make embarrassing comments. I usually answer it with another question like “Why do you want to know?” or “Why did you say that?”, which sometimes is not enough.

I have a co-worker who I also meet in social occasions with other co-workers. She is funny, nice and helpful but she has this gossip side that I hate. I know about it and I avoid discussing any personal matter with her and try to change subject if she mentions somebody else’s life.

A few days ago she put me in a horrible situation making a comment out loud, which she started with: “I found out your secret”, which caught everybody around attention. I haven’t said anything about it with her because I think it can get even worse. I tried to keep a blasé attitude about it.

I didn’t deny or confirm anything. I don’t have to.

At these times I totally understand those people who don’t talk to anybody. They must have met someone like her in their lives.


2 thoughts on “Discretion

  1. Miki says:

    Bom Dia Mimulus!
    We just came back from Portugal, it is such a wonderful land!
    But it was so diffcicult to communicate there, because of the language. I normally have no porblems, speaking some different languages, but there it was so strange… until I found out that manz Portuguese speak French, my native language!!!
    We will go back there many times, but this time I will surely learn a lot of Portuguese before, i really want to know how these people are…

    Concerning your entry… well, like always, it is quite a question of balance. i find curisoity a positive thing, and to ask out of curisoity does not seem bad to me. In fact I most of the time interpretate curisity as a sign of interest, and I always feel happy when somebody has interest for me (of course, it must be a “healthy interest”).
    My last husband never asked me questions and I found it awful, I really thought he was never interested in what I think, do, feel, although he always said that it was the contrary and I am sure that he did not lie. He was simply over discreet, and I think this is very dangerous. Can really be wrongly interpretated. He and his freinds were all the same, and I always felt bad amongst them. They never asked or discussed something really personal, out of discretion… I am sure each of them felt quite lonely!!!

    Um beso

  2. mimulus says:

    Hello, Miki! It must have been a wonderful experience for you both.
    I agree with you, I expose my “healthy curiosity” also.
    I was talking about who make comments with bad intentions, to cause embarrassment.
    And specially to the ones close I’m very open, it’s really healthy. I couldn’t live without anybody around to open myself every now and then. I do it with the ones I trust they will keep it private.

    Um beijo para você também [pour tuoi aussi] !

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