What If

I had accepted that job offer when I still didn’t find this one I have now worth to keep and had moved away three years ago?

What if I could have been bold enough when it would not seem crazy to be like it does now?

What if I had asked more questions?

What if I had the guts to show how much it meant to me?

What if I didn’t let my pride avoiding me to show how much it affected me?

What if I’m still not alone in this? Why sometimes it feels like I’m not? What if it’s still not too late?

I think none of us can plan anything. A plan should never be more than a wish and a reference, otherwise we can loose track easily. Things change all the time.  

Even in simple things. Today I went to the manicure after work and when I was leaving to go back home I ran across a couple I know since college and they invited me to go to the movies with them. I accepted but if I had not it wouldn’t make any big difference in my life, except for one less good movie I’d watched. It was not in my to-do-list for today, so what? But simple things are easy to decide about.

The hardest is when we are faced to great things that we wish but can never plan to find. We gotta be ready even to recognize them when found, because they usually come unexpectedly.

Sometimes we are faced with things so great that we aren’t even able to mention them to ourselves. Not even in our thoughts. Reason, plans and strategies can only be disastrous in those cases, very few to happen in a lifetime I believe. They must be faced with heart and soul. And those are the moments that can give a meaning to our existence.

What if?

 

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