During college I lived in five different houses with five different roommate groups. In my third year in college I went to live with a girl and it was the nearest to the campus I had lived until then.

The house had two bedrooms. It was the best place since I had started college so far: two blocks away from university campus and with one bedroom all for me. What else could I ask for? And this girl I had known since my first day at the campus. She was very intelligent and also beautiful [she is still very beautiful]. She used to have many affairs by that time and many people [the kind that worries about someone else’s life] said many bad things about her. We were close friends though and respected each other individuality and differences.

Then, after some time I was sharing the house with her she started dating a guy who happened to be addicted to smoking crack. He spent a lot of time at our house and it was really terrible for me. He was nice in the rare moments he was not high but it was something impossible for me to deal with at that time.

Fortunately, after a few months dealing with it I found a place in another house, with another [the last one] group of roomies.

I was not happy with it and we were not dealing very well with each other when I left the house. But I never said anything offensive to her. We never argued. We just got away from each other until I graduated. We had been close friends and got apart.

Then, after graduating, I got a position as a trainee in a local company and continued living with the same roomies. This girl got pregnant and had her baby that year and we got close again. The baby was not from the crack guy, who had died from OD.

We lost contact but years later, her son was 3 years old, she called me and told me she found out to be HIV positive. That was a great shock for me. I went to visit her that weekend and I felt really grateful for not having said anything hurtful to her ever. I kept the door between us open and I felt glad I could be supportive.

Now, she still takes her drugs cocktail [many many pills], she has a good job, her son is almost a teen and she got married to a wonderful guy who is very supportive. I’m very glad she remains healthy and that we remain friends. Now we live in the same city and I meet them regularly.

Circumstances that made us fall apart don’t exist anymore and the same for angry feelings. I’m glad I kept my temperance with her. It always come to my mind when I have a problem with a friend or someone in family. Circumstances change, people make mistakes, feelings change. But hurtful words are hard to be forgotten and close doors between people. I’m glad I never say them to my loved ones.


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