Do you care?

  I think we are living in a world where we get superficially connected to more and more people and at the same time everybody cares less about others well being, even the ones called friends.

And it gets more evident when someone gets in trouble and needs some help, specially in emotional matters. Even the most independent person needs help every now and then, but a few or nobody will notice or care, because people are too busy caring about themselves only.  

I’m easy going and have a few good friends. With some of them I keep daily contact and to others I do my best to keep occasional contact to preserve the space we have for sharing personal matters when it’s  wanted or needed.

This week a friend I like and admire very much passed by me and I noticed he had a sad look in his eyes. At that time I couldn’t stop to ask if there was something going on but in the next day I remembered it and called him on MSN to ask how he was doing.  At first he answered he’s been in some difficulties and we could talk about it some other time. I told him I wanted everything to be fine for him, no matter practical or emotional matters. But I didn’t want to bother him and keep asking more questions.

A few minutes later he said he wanted to tell me what was going on and he started talking.

He told me he is suffering with a severe depression, in medical treatment and fighting hard against it. We’d never talked about it before and I got really surprised. He is always in a good mood and keeps nice conversation about everything. Besides he is a good looking and very attractive guy with a good job and a promising future. He was the last person I’d wonder to be in such a situation. Well, he is. It affected me a lot. I DO CARE ABOUT HIM.

I can’t feel what he is feeling but I can be a listener and be supportive. And I’ll be very happy if it can relieve his pain a little. And I keep wondering how many people are in pain and “friends” not even notice or care in this world we live.

He is very intelligent and aware of himself. He’s looked for help and treatment and I’m sure and keep my fingers crossed that he’ll get over it.

Depression is a serious matter and affects more people that we can imagine.

So, if you have a friend, when you look at him/her try to SEE him/her. If you feel something is going wrong make it clear you CARE and you are there for him/her. Not everybody is open to share personal issues but it’s important to know there is someone to listen just in case. Just walking side by side and talking with someone for a few minutes can bring comfort. It’s human contact.



2 thoughts on “Do you care?

  1. Miki says:

    I( just noticed that I made the following comment under the wrong post *blogging feels good), so here it is again, Sorry!)

    It is such a wonderful, touching and honest entry and I agree with each word you write. I have suffered under hard depression myself when I was 25 years old, and it was so hard, many years. Everybody thought i had everything to be happy, and nevertheless, I had not the most important thing for me at that time: answers to some questions which were “eating” me from inside. I have learned to live without the answers but the questions are not gone…
    Yes, one needs to take time and pay attention to our close friends and family. It is so difficult sometimes, as you say
    From my own experience I know that it is very important to have somebody listening to you when you are depressed. Just listening, and surely not trying to solve your problem, at least not rapidly with the standard answers and comfort words. Unfortunately Good listeners are quite rare though… to be a good listener one needs to step back from the own problems, the own life, perhaps even the own personality.
    I am myself a good listener, but the reason might be that I love to listen to the personal stories of people. I love to know concretely about their joys, their problems, their passions, their dreams, whatever, as long as they are true and human!
    I am sure that you are a good listener too. Only good listeners can write such an entry…

    Hugs from the Mediterranean!

  2. mimulus says:

    Hey, Miki! Thanks a lot for the comment!

    It’s not an easy task helping a depressed friend.
    And you’re right. We can’t try to present a solution as if it were something easy to apply.
    All we can do is showing we’re there for him/her if they want someone around or to listen.
    I think I’m a good listener because I love to know about others point of view and the way they deal with different life matters. It teaches a lot.

    Hugs and it’s always nice having you around

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